Beulah, peel me a grape.

First, watch out, there are swears in this post. Now that's out of the way, what a fucking week. My boss has been off all week on holiday and I've been looking after things hence no updates, no notes, no nothing. All week I've been running around and worrying about things and trying to get things sorted and it's left me drained.

I have no fucking idea how she manages everything they way she does. She must have super powers or something. Ridiculous amount of work she has to keep on top of.

I think I've done ok but I am worried that a couple of decisions I've made may be the wrong ones. Nothing major just a couple of things. I'll speak to her about those when she gets back next Wednesday. I may have to throw myself at her feet and weep... ok no I won't but still, I'll be relieved when she's back.

We're having a barbeque today. Yes it will most likely rain but damn it we're going to have a bastard barbeque what ever the weather. We got a little shitty gazebo for a tenner which will do nicely for a few days. We have friends coming over to visit which is the main reason for this barbeque.

I'm going to have a shower once Hairy Face is out. I'm humming a bit and it's got nothing to do with music.

Hope everyone is grand! I'm off to scrub the foul stench of cleaning products from my skin.

We were hotter than the Bahamas a few days ago. I know where I'd rather be. A couple of days ago it was really humid. Hot and sticky but not the kind that I like at all (interpret that how you will, you filthy people). You walked outside and suddenly you're covered with millions of little Thunderflies and eating them without meaning to. Mmmmm, the extra protein! Speaking of...

During the month of May on Lake Victoria in Tanzania, a cloud of freshly hatched flies (or midges) rises from the water in clouds so dense that from a distance it looks like bellowing clouds of smoke. When great hosts of these flies are blown towards land by the wind, they are swept off the bushes and rocks by the Sesse Islanders or caught against mats hung up for the purpose; they are then compressed into oily cakes, roasted, and eaten.

Delicious!

I think Hairy Face has gone back to sleep. We should have been out the house by now. He did burn his arm quite badly yesterday on piping hot curry. I've told him to get it seen to by a doctor as it looks to be a 2nd degree burn but he insists that he's fine. I'm keeping an eye on him.

He did fall back asleep! I'm going to bumble about until he's ready to go shopping. We're running out of food!

Right, I've got to get back into writing regularly again. I'll get an update of what's happened at some point but for now:

1. At work the team I was in got disbanded near Christmas. One was made redundant (went travelling for a few months in America and Cananda and has now landed himself a contract job for a year in Amsterdam), the rest of us got other jobs. The job they gave me was a promotion and a payrise of 6k in disguise. I was very pleased.

2. Guinea pigs are still going strong. Currently have a total of 26. I think. I don't know. There's too many. Two babies got taken away/eaten/devoured by either a bloody cat or a crow/magpie/sparrowhawk. The babies have now been moved to safer location.

Now I have to get all the reusable bags together to go food shopping in a half an hour.

Good to see most of you are still blogging away like demons, I really should take a leaf out of your books.

I AM NOT GOING TO TWEAK THE FUCKING DOCUMENT AGAIN.

TIME IS UP.

NO MORE FUCKING CHANGES TO THE FUCKING DOCUMENT!!

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Oh al-fucking-right. I'll do it. It's not because I want to, it's because I have to. I hope you all get a bad case of pubic lice and the only way to cure it is to set fire to your lice infested sex nest and bash your own genitals with a big, big hammer.