I'm still here. Just. Besides all the little fiascos we're experiencing here, work has increased 10-fold to the run up for Christmas. The new recruit that was supposed to start today hasn't because he accepted a job elsewhere.
We're all taking on more than twice the normal work load. When I get home, I just potter about doing mundane house hold chores and then flop on the sofa.
On to the fiascos!
Halloween Fiasco:
30th of October, three little boys knocked on our door with just a mask on, asking for sweets. I was caught out but luckily we had some lollipops. I didn't expect to see trick or treaters the day before Halloween.
31st October - Halloween night. I and Hairy Face got in from work and I slowly closed the living room curtains and locked the front door. We (including Lebeau) all disappeared into the middle room and played quietly on the Xbox. Funnily enough, no one knocked on our door that night. I was sure that we were going to be swooped upon by a thousand ghosts, witches and ghouls but no. It's good though as we had run out of sweets on the account of Lebeau and Hairy Face kept dipping in to it.
The Car Fiasco:
Car needs a new clutch and clutch flywheel. £552. Sunwin garage tells us it should be ready by last Wednesday.
Wednesday arrives. Latest is Friday they said.
Friday arrives. It'll be done Saturday they said.
Saturday arrives. Only one man in. It will definitely be ready by Monday he said.
Today arrives. They'll see what they can do. Possibly Tuesday they said.
Hairy Face is now calling the Head Office. He said so.
Most expensive week ever. It is costing us nearly £30 a day to get to work and back. If Sunwin had said that it would most likely be next week that the car would be fixed, we could have hired a bloody car for the fraction of the price it's costing us to get to work and back each day. Money is tight, tight as a gnat's anus.
The Bus Fiasco:
Because the car is in the garage (just sitting there doing bugger all I may add), we've had to catch the bus.
One night after finishing work, I met Hairy Face and we got on the bus. A rather large and seemingly simple lady got on and wanted to sit on a seat which had a table. A man was already sitting by the window and she asked him to move over. He didn't. He couldn't. If he moved any further up he would have had to climb out of the window. Big Lady screeched for the bus driver, who stepped off the bus to go to the toilet. Big lady stood and waited for him to come back. The driver got on the bus...
'Driivaaa! Drivaa! This man won't move up and I wanna to sit there. Tell him to move!'
The driver isn't allowed to get involved and asked the lady to sit elsewhere as there were plenty of seats.
'I wanna sit here. I ain't sitting elsewhere. He won't moooove!'
Mumbles started to be heard around the bus.
Princess Leia (a girl with Leia buns) piped up from the back.
'Sit daaahn love, we want to go home!' in a thick Liverpuddlian accent.
Big Lady ignored her.
Other people started to pipe up.
A bunch of teenagers sitting opposite me and Hairy Face started.
'Sit down will ya, we wanna get home! For Christ sake, just sit down and shut up whining. There are plenty of seats!'
Big lady gave them a dirty look.
Hairy Face (who thrives off things like this) had a word.
'There five empty seats behind us, why don't you seat at the back of the bus?'
Big Lady replied 'I get sick if I sit at the back. I can't sit at the baaack!'
The mumbling changed to laughter and then annoyance. Everyone started to tell her to sit down.
Hairy Face, now annoyed, tired and wanting to go home, piped up again.
'Either sit down or get off the bus. I've enough of this town and I just want to go home as do all the other people on here.'
Chorus of 'Here, here!' and 'Well said from Princess Leia echoed around the bus.
Another lady got up and said to Big Lady 'Here, me and my friend have moved so you can have two whole seats to yourself now PLEASE will you sit down!?'
Big Lady waddled up and sat down. Not even a thank you. Just a tut and huff.
We finally got going. 20 minutes behind schedule but we got going.
When I and Hairy Face got to our stop, Hairy Face turned to the man who wouldn't move and said to him 'Good on you for not moving Sir.'
The man smiled and said quietly 'Too right.'
Big Lady heard Hairy Face and exclaimed 'You're just a pig you are!'
Hairy Face smiled at her and got off the bus. I was laughing. Some people.
The Guinea Pig Fiasco:
Instead of having three Guinea Pigs, we now have eight.
EIGHT.
The male has now been taken to Hairy Face's parent’s house.
All male Guinea Pigs when old enough will be promptly sent to his parents, even if I have to load my pockets up with Guinea Pigs and hay and walk down there myself.
They are very cute but it's getting silly. We can't tell what the babies sexes are as yet, they're too small.
We think all three of the females gave birth. Scumose gave birth to two, Paul Simon had two and Plummer has one. Bad Guinea Pigs. Naughty Guinea Pigs.
Hairy Face has already named them all:
One Big Gus
Clapper
Tip Top
Catsby
Twisp
The Gazebo Fiasco:
Hairy Face and Lebeau decided to put up the gazebo over the Guinea Pig hutch to keep the rain off it last week.
It was terribly windy last Friday. We got home from work and I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on (as you do) and I happen to look out of the window. I shouted over to Hairy Face as to why there are white poles propped up outside the kitchen window. He didn't know but Lebeau said 'Ahh... yes about that...' and said I should take a look outside.
Stepping outside, the first thing I noticed was that there was no gazebo. Guinea Pig hutch was still there, unharmed. Looking further down the garden, I noticed that the gazebo has been caught in the branches of our apple tree, flapping away like a tattered old flag.
They got it down and made it up again. Over the Guinea Pig hutch but this time with garden wire attaching the gazebo to any heavy object close by. It looks secure... but we'll see. Probably next time it might go over to next doors garden and their two dogs might rip it to shreds.
So yes, I’m still here, hanging on by a mere thread of humanity but still here.
