Work has come to a sudden stand still. 'RED STATUS!' they're screaming so it's all stop. There is now a Change Freeze and I'm a Change Analyst. Hmm.
*Twiddles thumbs*
I can see them all gathered at the end of the building, scribbling on the white boards, heads together and a constant low murmur drifts down to where I'm sitting.
An hour goes past and suddenly I leap into action; 'This is an emergency change and it must go through! Who do I need to speak to who?'
I rattle the names off my tongue, told him to chase the first two people and I'll chase the other two. Within ten minutes the change was looked at, approved and sent to the team who needs to implement it. Executed perfectly.
Another lull in the day and I'm twiddling my thumbs again. *Ding!* meeting invite in ten minutes 'EVERYONE MUST ATTEND'... wonderful. Off I toddle to the other building.
The meeting lasted ten minutes: 'Thanks for all your hard work, we're half way there. A few issues but we've all done a fantastic job. Thanks.'
That was the meeting in a nutshell. I toddle off back to my building.
Lunchtime and I'm not the slightest bit hungry. Work activity has come to a complete standstill for me. I turn my chair towards the closest mounted plasma TV and watch Sky News for a bit. Oh joy; I've caught the tail end of the sport news. With a slight look of disgust I turn my chair back to my PC and go to the BBC news website.
NETWORK ERROR
Ahh... I see we've lost connectivity. The Commandos have snapped into action and busy looking at graphs, pointing at them, hands on chins and nodding seriously. Wait for it... wait for it... AND THERE HE GOES! One of them shoots off in a sprint towards the other end of the building to the team who may be able to fix the problem. The Benny Hill theme tune plays loudly in my head, making me smile slightly. It'll most likely be some configuration tweaking that needs doing.
*Ding!* Email asking if we need anything from Morrisons for dinner tonight. Hmmm... No, I'm not that hungry. I'll have a bowl of cereal tonight if I am. No appetite today. Possibly because I can feel the onslaught of a cold building up behind my nose, eyes and head. Eurgh.
*Blip!* Instant message waiting. Work colleague stating that incest is awful and he can't think of anything worse. It is a slow day.
*Tappity tappity tappity*
I replied that incest with a dead relative is worse.
*Blip!* Incest with a member of your family who is the same SEX is worse.
*Tappity tappity tappity* On par with dead relative.
I get accused of having done it with a dead person and quick reply back to him to say that no, I haven't but he has and he is so well know for it that they call him Necrophilly behind his back and that his reputation exceeds him.
Silence.
I win that round.
I try going to the BBC news website. It works. Issue resolved then. Marvellous.
WINDOWS - VIRTUAL MEMORY MINIMUM TO LOW
*Sigh*
Everyday it that pops up but it doesn't slow anything down. I ignore it.
The managers are having a discussion in front of my desk. 'What is priority and what isn't?’ is the agenda. I close my ears to them and open a spreadsheet. Does it need updating? Let me see... no I updated it earlier.
Phone rings. It's Hairyface asking me how my day is going and then he goes in with a tirade of utter annoyance at some rather big mistakes that certain people have made at his work place. I smile as I listen to him. Some things never change. I confirm that I'm finishing at 5:30pm today and he confirms that he will call me when he is ready to leave his work. This is so that I have time to log off, gather my things and wait for him outside.
Two hours and a quarter hours to go. I'm going to spend the rest of today watching the clock.
Oh no, a possible three emergency changes might be winging its way for me. That should keep me busy until 5:30pm. I'll make them last me until then.
HOORAY I'M BUSY AGAIN!
